When Damon and I traveled to Japan in April of 2018, I had no idea he was going to propose. It turned out to be the most memorable trip of our life, and both of us still cry whenever we tell the story. I love all the details of our engagement and want to remember them forever. Writing this story has brought me a lot of joy, and I’m happy to share it with you.
In the summer of 2017, Damon’s friends asked him when he was going to propose and he said that I would “kick him to the curb” if he didn’t propose by spring 2018. I laughed then immediately googled “when is spring?”. When our Asia trip came around, I forgot that April was technically spring. If I thought about the possibility of Damon proposing, I decided it was unlikely.
Firstly, I didn’t think he had a ring. We were at Costco the week before our trip, buying ingredients for the make-your-own pizza party I was throwing Damon for his birthday. Damon made a show of looking at Costco’s ring display, checking out prices, and taking notes on his phone. I was happy that at least he had stopped pretending to vomit every time he looked at jewelry (true story). Secondly, Damon is the type of traveler who worries about missing his flight even when he’s 2 hours early, so I was sure he wouldn’t want to complicate things by going through customs with a ring.
What I didn’t know at the time was that he had bought the ring months ahead of time and started the preparations in December of the year before. He even talked to his friends who worked at Canadian Border Services Agency about traveling with the ring, and brought all the necessary documents. He’d told our family and close friends about his plans before we left Vancouver. I was the only one who had no idea.
Our Engagement Story
Our first stop on the trip was Tokyo. Damon planned our itinerary (this should have been a clue), which was to stay in Tokyo for three nights then go to Kyoto, Kobe and Osaka (see my Osaka outfit post). From Osaka, we’d fly to China to visit my relatives and introduce Damon to my extended family for a week, then fly back to spend a few more days in Tokyo before heading home to Vancouver.
Our trip to Kyoto was planned for a Sunday. The day before, Damon was stressed about buying train tickets because he had read in a forum that bullet train tickets sell out quickly. He wanted to make sure we arrived in Kyoto at 2pm for hotel check in and to meet our friend Thor, who lives in Osaka and was meeting us to hang out and have dinner in Kyoto. Turns out buying a train ticket is the easiest thing ever in Japan and there were numerous departures to choose from. We bought tickets for a 1:55pm arrival. I wasn’t sure why it was so important that we arrive in Kyoto in time for 2pm hotel check in, but like all of the slightly odd things that he did leading up to the proposal, I didn’t think give it too much thought. We got the train ticket we wanted and Damon was very relieved.
The night before our trip, Damon took out a white dress shirt and hung it in the shower to steam out the wrinkles. I hang dresses and shirts in the shower to steam on almost every trip but I had never seen him do that before. I wasn’t sure why he was steaming a dress shirt he’d just pack again the next day (because why would he wear a white dress shirt on the train?), but was pleased that he was using one of my steaming tricks. On Sunday morning, he put on the white shirt and when I asked him about it, he simply said he wanted to wear it. I thought he might have been planning to go to a nice restaurant with Thor later in the evening.
When I look back, I laugh at the things that I did the day of the proposal and wonder if they were driving Damon crazy. For example, on our way to the train station, I insisted on stopping at several conbinis (convenience stores) because I was obsessed with the free gifts that came in Japanese beauty and fashion magazines (one of 5498 reasons that I love Japan). Each magazine brand comes with a unique gift, and each store has a slightly different selection of magazines so I wanted to see them all. I ended up buying one that came with a powder brush and eyeshadow palette. (Read my Japan Travel Guide: 10 Things to Know Before You Go)
Train stations in Japan are amazing for food (and reliability, cute shops, etc.). After exploring all our options and convincing Damon I for sure will finish everything I buy, I picked two bento boxes, some pastries and a sandwich for Damon. I was so happy and giddy walking to the Shinkansen with my bag full of snacks, looking forward to three weeks of adventure ahead of us.
Instead of falling asleep right away like I usually do on planes and car rides, I was in the middle of Educated by Tara Westover, and I could not put it down. I read for most of the train ride and arrived in Kyoto at 2pm, miraculously not motion sick. We checked into our hotel and opened the door of our room to a penthouse suite that was about five times the size of our Tokyo hotel room with an amazing view of the city. Damon said he got a good deal, and I figured Kyoto must be an inexpensive city (no and definitely no).
Based on when we were scheduled to meet his friend Thor and Thor’s coworker Rob who wanted to join us last minute, we had about 30-45 minutes before we had to leave the hotel. I thought I could lounge on our bed and continue reading my book, but Damon insisted we get going. Damon said Thor can take some photos of us, which I was excited about because it’s not easy to get photos on vacation unless I take out my tripod and DSLR. I picked out a cute outfit to wear – a new skirt from Uniqlo and a new sweater from Muji – and got ready. Before we left, I had a clear memory of looking in the mirror and loving how I looked. I felt great.
Our destination that afternoon was a popular area in Kyoto called Philosopher’s Walk. When Damon told me the plans the night before, I heard “Philosopher’s Wok” and thought we were heading to a Chinese restaurant. We met up with Thor and his former colleague Rob, a school teacher who lives in Kyoto, and set off to Philosopher’s Walk, which was 45 min away (so glad I wore sneakers!). We walked by several amazing looking bakeries that I oooed and ahhhed over. Damon and the guys actually all offered to stop so I could check them out, but I’m glad I kept going and didn’t get distracted by cake!
Philosopher’s Walk, Kyoto Japan
Philosopher’s Walk / Wok is a is well-known attraction in Kyoto that’s a pedestrian walkway that follows a canal which is lined with hundreds of cherry blossom trees. It’s quite a sight during cherry blossom season, which is exactly what Damon had planned.
When we got there, Damon, Thor and Rob stood around the map at the start of the path and looked like they weren’t quite sure where to go. It was there that Damon asked if Thor could take some photos of us on my phone. I was so excited! Damon is highly allergic to photos but he makes an effort to take photos with me and I make an effort to make them quick. With “making them quick” in mind, I handed my phone to Thor and said, “how about we take them right here?”. Damon looked around, spotted a little bridge down the canal, and suggested we walk to that bridge for photos instead. I was surprised that Damon was actually looking for an ideal location for our photos and didn’t try to get it over with quickly. At that moment, Rob, who had brought his camera gear to take photos of cherry blossoms, offered to take some photos on his DSLR for us as well. “Wow, Damon’s friends are really nice” I thought. I made a mental note to make it quick because I didn’t want to inconvenience them, and I told Thor I’ll take photos of his family in Kyoto and Rob that I can take photos of him afterwards in return.
When we got to the bridge, there was a woman on the bridge having a very loud and animated conversation in Italian on her cellphone. I knew that if we got on the bridge and showed that we were posing for a photo, people would eventually move on. I wasn’t bothered by it. Damon is normally very easy going, so I was surprised that he became agitated and I had to reassure him that it’s not a big deal. The woman left shortly after, and we got into position and started smiling at the two cameras.
Those photos of us posing are hilarious to me now, because I was the only one smiling at the camera. So much was written on Damon’s face. While we were posing for photos, Damon asked me, “Do you remember when I went to your parents’ place to drop off our passports when you were away in Fort St John?”. I said “No. I did that”. Damon repeated, “No, I did that, remember? I gave our passports to your mom so she could get our Chinese visa for us?” I thought about it and said “Hmmm…no? I thought I did that?”. Damon loves telling this part of the story, because he said he could see my engineering brain spinning its wheels. I honestly don’t remember Damon giving my mom our passports, and as my mind was trying to figure this out, I looked at his face and saw that his eyes were red and holding back tears. My insides did a flip. I realized something was happening. I remember my mind and my insides spinning as he said “Because that’s when I asked them for permission to marry you” and went down on one knee. My tears came immediately. Damon was crying and asked “Will you marry me?”. I was crying so much I could barely see. I said yes and we hugged tight.
I was crying so much and everything was a blur when Damon went down on one knee so I didn’t see the ring. When he showed it to me again, I couldn’t believe how beautiful it was. I remembered that Thor and Rob were taking photos of us, and it clicked that Damon had planned for someone to take photos the whole time! I later learned that Rob is a professional wedding photographer who Damon had been speaking to since December. Damon even sent Rob photos from my portfolio so Rob could see my photography style. I would learn more over the next week about all the little details that Damon thought about. It makes me cry now think about how much thought and planning Damon put into the proposal, and how much he cares about me.
The Signs
Looking back, there were so many “signs”. Here are some of them:
- My mom was worried about spilling the beans, so she kept all of our phone conversations noticeably short the two months between Damon asking for permission and our engagement. She was always on her way out or had to run and do something urgent. On one of our calls she said “I have to go! The recycling truck is here!”
- I wanted to make a trip to China while we’re in Japan to see my relatives since we would be relatively close. It turns out flights were still rather expensive and the timing was tough. I wanted to be engaged before introducing Damon to my Chinese relatives, so since we weren’t engaged, I didn’t push too hard to make the trip happen. My mom encouraged us to go and bought us our tickets. Of course, she knew that we would be engaged! I’m so thankful she encouraged and made it possible for us to go to China. I loved introducing Damon to my relatives, my hometown, and my culture. We felt so loved by everyone and it’s one of my fondest memories.
- Damon taking the lead on planning our trip to Japan and taking on the huge task of booking everything for the trip. I was so spoiled.
- Damon getting stressed about buying train tickets to Kyoto
- Damon steaming his white dress shirt in the shower and wearing a nice shirt on a travel day
- The really nice penthouse suite that Damon booked in Kyoto
- Needing to arrive by 2pm. Damon wanted to make sure we had the best light for photos at Philosopher’s Walk.
- Finding out later that Damon and Thor (especially Thor) were very anxious that a recent rainstorm might have destroyed all of the cherry blossoms at Philosopher’s Walk.
- Damon encouraging me to wear something nice before we left for Philosopher’s Walk.
- Damon telling me that Thor’s former coworker Rob was joining us last minute and making it seem as casual as possible. Damon said that Rob wanted to take photos of cherry blossoms. Rob was a nice guy that I enjoyed talking to. I did wonder though why he carried such a large and heavy bag on a long weekend walk. Turns out he brought his full gear bag and was prepared to set up lights if required.
- Damon being uncharacteristically angry about the woman on her phone on the bridge.
- Thor and his friend Rob being so happy to offer to take our photos. I laugh now at how I tried to make it really quick so that Damon wouldn’t have to spend too long taking photos!
Best Trip Ever
The rest of the trip was a dream. We were (and are) so happy. I loved every minute of our time in Japan. Every day on the trip felt like a celebration of our love. Damon knew that I wanted to be engaged when we met my relatives, so it was extra special for me to introduce Damon to my family in China as my fiancé. One of the things I admire the most about Damon is how he always plans ahead and does everything thoughtfully and with intent. Even so, I was and am completely floored by his proposal and I will cherish this experience forever. I still can’t believe so many people knew, and that everyone kept it a secret! I’m thankful every day that I get to spend my life with my best friend. I love Damon with all my heart and I can’t wait for him to be my husband.
One of us posing for photos before the proposal.
“Do you remember when I went to your parents’ place to drop off our passports when you were away in Fort St John?”
My engineering brain spinning its gears
The proposal. Cue ugly cry.
*Sob* Yes! *Sob*
Even though it was 2am in Vancouver, I FaceTimed my mom because I physically could not wait to tell her the great news.
We went to the second floor of this cafe and had a tea and I FaceTimed my mom and cried all over again.
With our friend Thor (he’s carrying my purse haha)
God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. – Eph 3:20-21
“We’ll be Friends Forever, won’t we, Pooh?” asked Piglet.
“Even longer,” Pooh answered.