Last month, my friend Shina showed me a quilt that her mom made for her that included words of wisdom to live by on a daily basis. One of her mom’s advice was “Burn the candles and use the nice sheets. Don’t save them for a special occasion. Today is special and so are you. Treat yourself as you would your best friend.”
That particular advice resonated strongly with me and I haven’t stopped thinking about it. I have a tendency to “save” new things and nice things for an undefined “special” date in the future. I save new lipsticks, I didn’t open the La Mer cream Damon gave me for Christmas last year for a few months, and I definitely resist burning new candles. When I think about this, not enjoying the things in your possession is actually quite wasteful. Things expire, products lose their efficacy, and fragrances change. Also, things that are put away are out of sight and most likely out of mind. I’ve forgotten that I have certain things, and in one or two cases have purchased a replacement. I’ve definitely regretted not using something when I realize they’ve reached their expiration date, and there have been instances where I find out something is close to expiring and madly try to use it up. Thankfully, I started using my La Mer cream because I knew I wouldn’t be able to get over it if it went bad. What I’ve learned from that experience is that I get to feel the joy of using a cream I love given to me by someone I love every time I use it. It’s the gift that keeps on giving. It’s also rewarding for Damon because he gets to hear me express my love for it every evening when I use it.
One of the things I noticed right away about my husband Damon was that whenever I give him a gift, he puts it to use immediately. If it was a sweater, I’d see him wear it with almost every outfit. If I give him shoes, they become his everyday shoes. I gave him a crystal decanter set this Christmas and he immediately poured in a bottle of whiskey and displayed it on our bar. As someone who loves giving gifts (it’s my love language), there’s nothing better than seeing my gifts being enjoyed and put to use.
This past Christmas, Damon gave me the pink Tory Burch sweater I’m wearing in this post, made of a very substantial 100% cashmere. We went to the Tory Burch store on Vancouver during Black Friday because Damon wanted me to show him what I liked. I remember admiring this sweater in store but putting it back as soon as I learned that it was excluded from the Black Friday promotion. When I opened my gift and saw the sweater, I exclaimed “but it’s excluded from sales!” Damon said “Yes, but I saw that you liked it and I knew it would look great on you”. He bought it in store in November and even had a salesperson who was my height try it on for size.
I struggled with knowing that he paid the hefty full price for the sweater. To be completely honest, I had to stop myself from suggesting that we keep the tag on and wait for it to go on sale to get a price adjustment. I’ve never paid full price for Tory Burch and this cashmere sweater would have been so expensive even with a discount. I felt guilty and undeserving. It took a lot of self talk to accept that 1) Damon was thrilled to give me this gift; 2) he didn’t mind paying full price and there were lots of things he could have gotten on sale if he wanted; and 3) I shouldn’t complicate my life and ruin a nice gift by trying to get a deal. Even still, in the week after Christmas, I’d take it out of the beautiful box it came in, show it to family and friends, and put it back in the box. I’d take it out, try it on, (all while the tag was on), and put it back. Remembering Shina’s mom’s words, I finally let Damon cut off the tag and wore the sweater out.
My resolution this year is to use and enjoy the things I have. I’m lighting the wick on candles I’ve been saving, wearing my full-price cashmere sweater, and allowing myself to fully appreciate the things I’m blessed to have. Starting with my trip to Hawaii, I’m bringing the lipsticks and products that I bought that are still in their boxes. I look forward to sharing my reviews.
Do you have a tendency to “save” things? What are your resolutions?
Sweater: Tory Burch Bella Cashmere sweater (it’s now on sale lol)
Scarf: Club Monaco Circle Blanket Scarf (on sale!)
Leggings: Spanx faux-leather leggings
Boots: Sam Edelman Mari Boots (on sale!)
Sunglasses: Le Specs Air Heart sunglasses
Bag: Tory Burch Block-T Tote (similar)
Lips: Charlotte Tilbury Lip Cheat lip liner in Supersize Me + KKW Beauty Pink Cream lipstick in Pink 3