With a pandemic going on and all of the heartbreaking injustices happening around the world, a lot of us have been feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and hopeless. Being pregnant makes it that much harder to cope. I’ve come up with a list of things that I’ve done that have made me happier and less stressed. Let me know if any of them resonate with you, and if you have any tips and tools you use to feel happier every day.
1. Unfollow or mute people on social media.
If someone’s stories and posts make you feel envious, depressed, or less-than, you’ll be happier unfollowing that account. If you’re seeing posts that make you feel like you don’t have enough or aren’t doing enough, then chances are you’ll feel stressed or pressured to do more than what you’re physically, mentally or financially capable. It’s so easy to be caught in a comparison trap (even though Damon helpfully reminds me that many people’s lifestyles are financed on debt). When that happens, I try to get into the habit of muting or unfollowing that account. You’re not obligated to follow anyone or watch anyone’s stories. I’ve listed some fun book recommendations at the bottom of this post for when you need something else to do instead of browsing social media.
2. Limit consumption of bad news.
You don’t have to consume all the content out there. You don’t have to know everything that is going on. That includes news about Covid, about racist attacks, and about all the heartwrenching injustices in the world. There’s so much sadness out there and so many accounts that want to spread awareness that it can put you in a really bad state of mind. Just as what you eat will affect how you feel, what you read and listen to will too. I guarantee you’ll be happier if you take some time away from reading the news. I think that your mental well-being is more important than being the wokest person in the room, especially if you’re pregnant.
3. Spend the $4 buying coffee if it makes you happy.
I know we’ve all read or heard financial advise that promises if we just made coffee at home everyday, we’ll save a ton of money thanks to the magic of compound interest. But you know what, Jeff Bezos did not become a billionaire by making millions of coffees at home. If buying a latte makes you feel happy and adds joy to your day, it’s a pretty inexpensive way to do so. There are other (and more effective) ways to save money. All the Money In the World: What the Happiest People Know About Wealth by Laura Vanderkam has a great section about this.
4. Listen to career and business podcasts from a different (but similar) industry.
Instead of listening to career and business podcasts focused on your exact industry, listen to ones catering a different industry. For example, I have a photography business and there are lots of great podcasts out there for photographers on the topic of building your business, attracting the ideal clients, charging more for your time, etc. What I find though is that while they may provide inspiration and good ideas, they can also make me feel stressed out about not doing enough. Instead, I listen to podcasts targeted towards real estate agents. Photographers and realtors are both in the service industry and there are many parallels and transferrable ideas. I find real estate fascinating, and I can enjoy the podcasts and get great ideas without feeling like I’m not doing enough for my photography business.
5. Practice having courage to stand up for yourself.
This includes calling people out when you feel like they’re being disrespectful. You don’t have to do it in the moment, but don’t ignore it. Also remember to externalize and not internalize – as in, it has everything to do with their behavior, and nothing to do with something you did. I had to do that recently with someone on my project team who was disrespectful to me on a conference call, and even though I’ve had to do this before (unfortunately), it was still uncomfortable and difficult. But I’m happy I did it, because standing up for yourself is soul-building. And ultimately, even though it sucked to be disrespected, I’m happier for having the courage to stand up for myself.
6. Embrace doing nothing and not being productive.
Your worth is not correlated to your productivity. A rested you = a happier you.
7. Do something fun for someone else.
I send my friend Kathryn who lives in New Zealand a box of gifts about twice a year. It’s a lot of fun to curate what goes into those boxes, and it’s fun to wait in anticipation for her to receive the box. I shipped the last box on December 1 2020 and she got it in the middle of March this year. Because it takes so long, she sends me a photo of the contents so I can be reminded of what I sent her. It’s so much fun. I have a great time putting the boxes together and I love hearing her feedback on each item. I’m already putting together the next box. I also like to send random food deliveries to friends, like baked goodies or nut mylks. I know my friends appreciate it but it’s worth doing just for how happy it makes me.
8. Take a probiotic.
Happy poops = happy life.
Books that made me happy recently:
Ghosts by Dolly Alderton (I also loved her book Everything I Know About Love)
Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens
Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life by Christie Tate
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed by Lori Gottlieb
The Testaments by Margaret Atwood
Untamed by Glennon Doyle
Photos were taken at Sparkling Hill Resort in Vernon BC last summer. I was pregnant in these photos but wouldn’t find out until we returned home :). I’m wearing the Babaton Lato Dress from Aritzia, March Fisher espadrilles, and Le Specs sunglasses. In case you missed it, I shared a Pregnancy Q&A, an Over $100 Baby Wishlist, Under $100 Baby Wishlist, and a Tour of my Condo.